Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...

Can you tell when people lie? I'm not sure I can. I don't like being treated like an idiot, and I feel it now more than ever since I became a lone parent. Maybe it was like that before, actually- Lee never really gave me the respect I deserved when it came to things he wanted and found himself very confused in his own lies. I felt embarrassed for him more than anything, especially when he was caught out and had to backtrack.
I made so many excuses for Lee during our two-year on-off relationship and I'm glad we got back together but sad that from seeing his son every day, he went to not wanting to "because it hurt to see me". They created a bond and Harry loves his dad.
Now I have to tread so carefully, because as much as I hate doing so, I rely on him to take Harry at least two Sundays a month to let my parents have their day off together in peace. So sometimes as much as I would like to tell him what is on my mind, I can't. I can't try and stress to him that the money the court ordered him to pay should not have been ordered by a bloody court in the first place if he had his priorities straight.
I know I should get over it, stop talking about it and refrain from posting angry Facebook statuses about the situation; but anyone who is lucky enough to be in a stable relationship with their children's father could never understand. It is so easy for someone like that to tell you not to let your child's father see your child because of the stupid things they do. But the thing is- I'm the one who would look bad in the end- no matter the reason for stopping contact (have you never watched Jeremy Kyle!?).
I guess I would just like Lee to understand its not about the money- it's the principal of it. I want Harry to know his dad. At least then he can find out for himself what an idiot his dad is and how he'd rather spend money on cars and holidays before seeing to what's really important and finding any excuse not to spend his spare time getting to know Harry. That's what makes me sadder than anything.

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