I arranged a memorial notice for Christopher in 19th April's Courier. It was absolutely heartbreaking and I just about held myself together. I just passing the newspaper place after taking Harry swimming. I'm glad I did it because I don't have to think about it, now.
Their 2nd birthday is 18 April and it's creeping closer, around this time we met with the paedatricians, consultants and Special Care Baby Unit (a.k.a. NICU) nurses to arrange and explain what would happen at the birth and what I wanted. It all feels very surreal that I went through all of that at just 17 on top of hormones and stress of being pregnant. It's all so emotionally exhausting, draining.
I know everything's okay now. Harry was discharged by the paedatrician (he went every 6 months because he was premature) on Monday. We weighed him and took his height, walked in to the office, sat down, answered some questions; is he eating, how is his talking etc. then the doctor just said "Well he's fine, nothing wrong with him. I see you lost his twin, I'm sorry about that." and he was discharged. All I can say is how lucky I am and how things could have turned for the worse. But I had the best outcome I could've. Obviously I never wanted my Christopher to die, but he lived for Harry, and he was tired. He'd been strong for too long and I'll always be grateful to him for giving everything to his brother. He had a "wise" look about him. He knew, so very well.
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