I finally cried today
Me and my mum went to Shoprite (local supermarket in the Isle of Man) and we just parked the car and we saw a family friend with her twins, boy and a girl. She was saying how her little boy had started crawling and it's going to be mad when they're both at it because they will be going in opposite directions. As we walked away I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. It truly killed me. I wish I was chasing after both of them, that I had a twin pram, that I bought two of everything.
The day before Christopher's diagnosis, me and their daddy bought two five-piece sets of clothes and identical coats. Did I curse it? What if we hadn't bought them, what if I hadn't looked for hours for a tandem pram (longways) that I liked. Would Christopher be here, with us? Can someone tell me, why?
Bring him home.
I know the feeling. I often feel like I jinxed things. I have a nursery full of stuff, and it kills me to even look down the hall into that room. Sometimes I go in there and hold the little clothes. Gabriel's clothes are in there too, and I just go in there and smell his things and think about what could have been.
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