If I had a pound for every time...

Christopher, do you know how many times I speak of you in just one day?

How many times I tell yours and Harry's story?

And how I don't get tired of telling it?

You're probably sitting on my shoulder, rolling your eyes and saying "Not again, Mum..".

People say babies can see spirits, (well they also say babies' vision is upside-down? or that they can't see "yet"- when is yet over? Harry is three months now lol) well something always seems to catch Harry's eye, and when I mean catch his eye, it's so intense. Call me crazy, but I always wonder is he looking at Christopher?

I talked to a fellow angel mummy tonight who also lost her twin son (not to Anencephaly, like Christopher), Jayden- twin to Alfie. I asked her does she think our sons miss their twin? It's a serious question. After 32 weeks and 4 days together in the womb, you'd think Harry would notice the difference. Below is a picture of Harry just born, as if to say "Where am I?". If he could talk he would have probably said "Where is he [Christopher]?"

I miss my baby boy so much, I wish I had a double pram that was a nightmare to fit through doorways. I wish I was watching them giggle at eachother. There is such a big hole in my heart, the chain is forever broken...

We little knew that morning

that God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly

In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you,

but you did not go alone

For part of us went with you

The day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories,

and your love is still our guide,

And although we cannot see you

you are always by our side.

Our family chain is broken,

and nothing feels the same,

But! as God calls us one by one

the chain will link again.

- Author unknown.