It's been a while...
I stopped making overly emotive facebook statuses because I was told I was saying too much that was personal and making some people worried. I didn't mean to have this effect, it was simply that I hurt, so so bad. It was for attention, but not for everyone to say 'Aww' or 'I'm sorry', just for someone to know I'm hurting. I can't explain it. I hope you know what I mean. I just got so angry at the world.
Being as young as I am (18), a few of my friends on here are around my age. They don't "get" it. I have discussed recently with a few anen angel mummy's that I've had stuff like "Oh, you don't know the doctors are right, Christopher could get better" - this made me frustrated as I'd already accepted what was going to happen, I'd researched it and spoken to my lovely lovely fellow anen mummys and learnt to cherish every scan where I saw him and Harry and enjoy each and every kick.
Harry and Christopher were such blessings for me and as Harry thrives, I imagine what it'd be like with two of them, sometimes I smile, sometimes I cry. I love to share their story to anyone who will listen. It's a great story, and I'll take great pleasure in one day telling Harry how his brother fought for him, and their mummy and daddy.
I can't believe it has been over three months since we said 'hello' and 'goodbye'. I don't know what I want to do for a memorial. Life has gotten in the way and it has been delayed, I hope to do something soon. Me and their daddy, Lee have said we wanted to put it somewhere that's special to us.
I'm going to continue watching 'The Hills' maybe talk to you again soon.
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